Go Tell it on the Mountain

Gram, where can I even begin? You have done so much for me. More than you will ever know. You always knew what to say. You always knew how to forgive. I can't even begin to express my gratitude towards you. You, along with many others you taught, have raised the whole clan you created. I am so thankful that you are no longer in pain. For that fact I'm glad you are gone, even though I wish I could have had a little more time with you. I wish you could have seen me walk down the aisle and marry the man that I love. I wish you could have been there when I had kids, so they would be able to experience you. Im going to miss you and all of you wonderful goofyness. You impacted my life far more than you would ever know. And I'm not the only one. You have touched the lives of so many people. Your impact reaches even beyond our family ties and from there it is untraceable. I believe you were one of the special people God sent down to show us the the there is always good in the world. You gave everyone hope and faith. Even in your darkest days, when most would turn their back to the Lord, you ran to him asking him where to turn next. You instilled in me that hope and faith, giving me a strong virtue and teaching me to always turn to God. You made each and everyone of us feel special, giving us memories that will last a lifetime. I don't think there is anyone on this earth that could compare to you. I hope I can do the same for my family as you have done for ours. You were truly a wonderful blessing that I will never forget. I'm glad you get to see gramps again and enjoy each other in your primes. Tell everyone up there I said hi. I love you Gram and I will never forget you. This isn't goodbye, it's see ya later alligator.  Go tell it on the mountain Gram.

Old Joe

He skipped in his gait, like a bone had vanished from his lanky legs. He swayed from side to side down the streets of the only ground he's ever known. Being a local was an understatement to the sea salt cured veteran. Joe, quiet, almost mute, whistled everywhere he galavanted. The same handful of pretty songbird tunes escaped his lips, rain or shine, day in and out.  Some, a little uneasy near him, never paid any mind to this leather skinned being. He caused no harm, only brought with him a story that no writer could capture with words. To most, his last name was an evaporated term, but his history never seemed to leave their minds. His shack on the outside of town has been a family heirloom since before the place was founded. Some say he even was there when they colonized their tiny sandy town. A war veteran was among the many achievements this man could present to someone. Along with devoted father, husband, and son, there were many things this man could claim as a quality. Tragedy stuck him young into his early marriage, with two babies and a wife found dead, he all but near lost it. He came to this rock to find serenity, doing so in his own special way. He may seem like a nuisance to some, but if luck was in your favor, looking past his exterior, his worth to this world shown through. He himself is a blessing in disguise, a true image of the heart and soul of the earth. At first glance he may not seem like much, but through kind eyes and a caring demeanor, you would hold him in a rank as high as the Pope. He is genuine, in every sense of the word, doing things without being seen and without recognition. After one conversation you'll never forget old Joe.

Beauty

Harnessing all the beauty this world has to offer maybe be a challenge. But I am more than willing to take on that challenge. There may be alot of bad that is thrown at us, but that bad always seems to be laced with a little good. How can you not look at all the wreckage and carnage without hoping for something better to come of it? What about the miraculous scenery the earth bestows upon us? When you look into the ocean, do you not feel like there is something bigger out there? What about the colors in the sky as day time begins to rest? Don't they make you see the world in a different view? I want to see all that is out there. Whether on home or foreign soil, I want to capture every little bit of the good and hold onto it forever. I feel too deeply about life to just let the negativity squander my views. It may not be easy, but that doesn't mean it isn't possible. I hope I can gaze upon very grain of sand, make a wish on every dandelion in my path, and feel all of God's power with every storm.

Hammock Views

There is only one way to look at this world. Negativity, pressure, anxiety, violence, disaster, all incase around us and press down more and more each day. you get to this point where you don't know how much you can take. you look around for a way out. just some little bit of light. Just when you think that its completely incased you, you cant breath you almost cant move and then there it is, the light, the only way to break free. your finger just makes it out and finally you feel the warmth all over you, releasing you from the darkness. For me, that light came through when I let it all go, I let it go to the wind. I found myself in a place where I felt the closest to God. I found myself where I could feel the Atlantic trade winds wisp through my hair. I came to a place where the salt water met the land an I never looked back.

As I sway here in this cliché hammock over the water, between two palms,  I see nothing but good in this world. The sights that see from where I lay are too miraculous to see anything else. The evenings bring a mix of colors that brightly lighten the sky and calms the soul. As midnight takes it shift, the dark sky shoos the hues away and lets God place the stars in His exact alignment. Finally as the moon breaks the seal on the horizon  and comes into its full glory I feel this sense of well being and self worth. I don't think that I could ever see the world from a different view.

Indian Summer

It's all coming to an end. The once booming little tourist town is now saying it's goodbyes to the last of the ever-faithful beach dwellers. The pier that seems to have just opened, is now wrapping up all the vendors and rickety rides leaving them as a memory. And as the bus loads of people scramble out of this one road town, I pass them on the way in. Making my way by the sandy shops, the locals are winterizing each sun-beaten board and each pane of glass.  This is the time that I enjoy the ocean the most. The time where the crimsons and peaches of the sky dance along the tops of the waves. The time where you can truly enjoy this salty town for all its worth. To some people this time of year wouldn't be as ideal as the middle of summer, but for me it's not about the tan or sunkissed hair, it's about getting to know the locals all over again. It's about having late night bonfires with the crisp coastal air making the sparks fly. A time where you can watch a hurricane with all it wonder rage through the small town. The only time where being a local and a tourist go hand in hand.  Most importantly it's about finding myself again. This is the time where I can do just that. I may not be able to surf or swim for much longer, but I'll be able to truly find and be the person that the other seasons back home seem to hide. To me there's not just four seasons, there is one we always forget. Indian summer.

Lost and Found

At one point in my life I lost myself. I lost who I was, who I thought I could be, I lost it all. I was young, twelve years old, when I finally broke. My whole life I went through hell. I told myself I was fine, I told myself everything was alright. I lied, I lied to myself and everyone around me, because it was the only way to be happy. It was the only way that things didn't effect me. The point in time when I finally realized that I just couldn't handle one more thing thrown at me, I was letting the salt air of the Atlantic incase me. I came to a place of pure serenity while strolling the sandy shore. All in one movement the ocean had lifted all burdens that weighed my shoulders and buried them deep in the sand. The island life released what I had bottled up and let the true me shine through. As the week went on I painfully reminisced on my life, but more importantly I found who I was supposed to be. I found the person I hid, the person I was afraid to let out.  I found courage and strength in the waves. I found simplicity and serenity in the salty breeze. I finally found myself along that coast and as I physically left a majority of myself was left there. Each and every day I think about the person who I became there. All at the same time I was lost and found.

I'm Meant to Be

I don't know if anyone else feels the same way as I do. I wonder if anybody else will. I've never felt a stronger connection than the one that I have for coastal life. For me it's not just a desired vacation destination. It's not just sand and sunshine for me, it's a way of life. The only way of life I want to have. Living in the center of the midwest, I'm far away from the place where I feel most at peace. And when I discuss moving to somewhere along the coast, I'm always asked the question, 'do you think that will really help?' In my very honest opinion I think that it would be the best decision I have ever made. How will it not help? It's the only place where I can feel alive and free. The only place in the world that makes my troubles disappear and my aspirations uplifted. With the sand and the sea I feel as if I can do anything and everything that God has put me on earth to do. It's truly the only place that I feel closest to God. And when I finally make it to my true home I will become who I'm truly meant to be.