Go Tell it on the Mountain

Gram, where can I even begin? You have done so much for me. More than you will ever know. You always knew what to say. You always knew how to forgive. I can't even begin to express my gratitude towards you. You, along with many others you taught, have raised the whole clan you created. I am so thankful that you are no longer in pain. For that fact I'm glad you are gone, even though I wish I could have had a little more time with you. I wish you could have seen me walk down the aisle and marry the man that I love. I wish you could have been there when I had kids, so they would be able to experience you. Im going to miss you and all of you wonderful goofyness. You impacted my life far more than you would ever know. And I'm not the only one. You have touched the lives of so many people. Your impact reaches even beyond our family ties and from there it is untraceable. I believe you were one of the special people God sent down to show us the the there is always good in the world. You gave everyone hope and faith. Even in your darkest days, when most would turn their back to the Lord, you ran to him asking him where to turn next. You instilled in me that hope and faith, giving me a strong virtue and teaching me to always turn to God. You made each and everyone of us feel special, giving us memories that will last a lifetime. I don't think there is anyone on this earth that could compare to you. I hope I can do the same for my family as you have done for ours. You were truly a wonderful blessing that I will never forget. I'm glad you get to see gramps again and enjoy each other in your primes. Tell everyone up there I said hi. I love you Gram and I will never forget you. This isn't goodbye, it's see ya later alligator.  Go tell it on the mountain Gram.

Old Joe

He skipped in his gait, like a bone had vanished from his lanky legs. He swayed from side to side down the streets of the only ground he's ever known. Being a local was an understatement to the sea salt cured veteran. Joe, quiet, almost mute, whistled everywhere he galavanted. The same handful of pretty songbird tunes escaped his lips, rain or shine, day in and out.  Some, a little uneasy near him, never paid any mind to this leather skinned being. He caused no harm, only brought with him a story that no writer could capture with words. To most, his last name was an evaporated term, but his history never seemed to leave their minds. His shack on the outside of town has been a family heirloom since before the place was founded. Some say he even was there when they colonized their tiny sandy town. A war veteran was among the many achievements this man could present to someone. Along with devoted father, husband, and son, there were many things this man could claim as a quality. Tragedy stuck him young into his early marriage, with two babies and a wife found dead, he all but near lost it. He came to this rock to find serenity, doing so in his own special way. He may seem like a nuisance to some, but if luck was in your favor, looking past his exterior, his worth to this world shown through. He himself is a blessing in disguise, a true image of the heart and soul of the earth. At first glance he may not seem like much, but through kind eyes and a caring demeanor, you would hold him in a rank as high as the Pope. He is genuine, in every sense of the word, doing things without being seen and without recognition. After one conversation you'll never forget old Joe.

Beauty

Harnessing all the beauty this world has to offer maybe be a challenge. But I am more than willing to take on that challenge. There may be alot of bad that is thrown at us, but that bad always seems to be laced with a little good. How can you not look at all the wreckage and carnage without hoping for something better to come of it? What about the miraculous scenery the earth bestows upon us? When you look into the ocean, do you not feel like there is something bigger out there? What about the colors in the sky as day time begins to rest? Don't they make you see the world in a different view? I want to see all that is out there. Whether on home or foreign soil, I want to capture every little bit of the good and hold onto it forever. I feel too deeply about life to just let the negativity squander my views. It may not be easy, but that doesn't mean it isn't possible. I hope I can gaze upon very grain of sand, make a wish on every dandelion in my path, and feel all of God's power with every storm.

Hammock Views

There is only one way to look at this world. Negativity, pressure, anxiety, violence, disaster, all incase around us and press down more and more each day. you get to this point where you don't know how much you can take. you look around for a way out. just some little bit of light. Just when you think that its completely incased you, you cant breath you almost cant move and then there it is, the light, the only way to break free. your finger just makes it out and finally you feel the warmth all over you, releasing you from the darkness. For me, that light came through when I let it all go, I let it go to the wind. I found myself in a place where I felt the closest to God. I found myself where I could feel the Atlantic trade winds wisp through my hair. I came to a place where the salt water met the land an I never looked back.

As I sway here in this cliché hammock over the water, between two palms,  I see nothing but good in this world. The sights that see from where I lay are too miraculous to see anything else. The evenings bring a mix of colors that brightly lighten the sky and calms the soul. As midnight takes it shift, the dark sky shoos the hues away and lets God place the stars in His exact alignment. Finally as the moon breaks the seal on the horizon  and comes into its full glory I feel this sense of well being and self worth. I don't think that I could ever see the world from a different view.

Indian Summer

It's all coming to an end. The once booming little tourist town is now saying it's goodbyes to the last of the ever-faithful beach dwellers. The pier that seems to have just opened, is now wrapping up all the vendors and rickety rides leaving them as a memory. And as the bus loads of people scramble out of this one road town, I pass them on the way in. Making my way by the sandy shops, the locals are winterizing each sun-beaten board and each pane of glass.  This is the time that I enjoy the ocean the most. The time where the crimsons and peaches of the sky dance along the tops of the waves. The time where you can truly enjoy this salty town for all its worth. To some people this time of year wouldn't be as ideal as the middle of summer, but for me it's not about the tan or sunkissed hair, it's about getting to know the locals all over again. It's about having late night bonfires with the crisp coastal air making the sparks fly. A time where you can watch a hurricane with all it wonder rage through the small town. The only time where being a local and a tourist go hand in hand.  Most importantly it's about finding myself again. This is the time where I can do just that. I may not be able to surf or swim for much longer, but I'll be able to truly find and be the person that the other seasons back home seem to hide. To me there's not just four seasons, there is one we always forget. Indian summer.

Lost and Found

At one point in my life I lost myself. I lost who I was, who I thought I could be, I lost it all. I was young, twelve years old, when I finally broke. My whole life I went through hell. I told myself I was fine, I told myself everything was alright. I lied, I lied to myself and everyone around me, because it was the only way to be happy. It was the only way that things didn't effect me. The point in time when I finally realized that I just couldn't handle one more thing thrown at me, I was letting the salt air of the Atlantic incase me. I came to a place of pure serenity while strolling the sandy shore. All in one movement the ocean had lifted all burdens that weighed my shoulders and buried them deep in the sand. The island life released what I had bottled up and let the true me shine through. As the week went on I painfully reminisced on my life, but more importantly I found who I was supposed to be. I found the person I hid, the person I was afraid to let out.  I found courage and strength in the waves. I found simplicity and serenity in the salty breeze. I finally found myself along that coast and as I physically left a majority of myself was left there. Each and every day I think about the person who I became there. All at the same time I was lost and found.

I'm Meant to Be

I don't know if anyone else feels the same way as I do. I wonder if anybody else will. I've never felt a stronger connection than the one that I have for coastal life. For me it's not just a desired vacation destination. It's not just sand and sunshine for me, it's a way of life. The only way of life I want to have. Living in the center of the midwest, I'm far away from the place where I feel most at peace. And when I discuss moving to somewhere along the coast, I'm always asked the question, 'do you think that will really help?' In my very honest opinion I think that it would be the best decision I have ever made. How will it not help? It's the only place where I can feel alive and free. The only place in the world that makes my troubles disappear and my aspirations uplifted. With the sand and the sea I feel as if I can do anything and everything that God has put me on earth to do. It's truly the only place that I feel closest to God. And when I finally make it to my true home I will become who I'm truly meant to be.

Following God

We're not asked much in this life except to follow God. Through all the hardships and battles we endure, we should endure them with God. There will be times we won't understand, there will be times we won't want to understand, but we should know we follow God. There are moments in our life where we will not understand as to why God has let something come into our lives, but we need to trust him and his decisions. We may not have asked for the rocky uphill battle that had been put in our way, but we push past it with the help of God. Even now in the times where the future is starting to look darker and darker we still see the light that he has left for us. I know it's hard to keep faith when you have things crumbling down on top of you, but when all the rubble has fallen and the dust has settled God will be there to pull you from the heap to lead you to the path he has always wanted you to have.

Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

Ocean Raised

My mother, what a woman. She built me a solid foundation, one only God could diminish.  She raised me in a sense that I think all mothers should. She raised me just as God raised the ocean. She has shown me how to be gentle and powerful all in the same manner. Just as God has shown the waves to be calming, yet strong bringing serenity to those who are worn and strength to those who are weak. Just as the ocean, I too feel the need to bring people to a place of peace, a place to feel safe and at home. The ocean mirrors my sense of anger and despair by unleashing it's fury all in one powerful storm. But soon the lightening ceases and the rain let's up, brining the ocean to cleanse itself ridding what it has bottled up. She has given me the ability to feel deeply about my beliefs, just as the ocean portrays things in a way to give a deeper meaning for life. Like the ocean, my mother has told me to show my true beauty through every action I take.  God has shown my mother in each and every way possible to raise me as he has raised the ocean. No one truly understands my connection to the salty waters, only the the lucky ones. I am proud to say I was and will forever be ocean raised.

My Dare.

Why is it that there are so many things wrong with life? Have you ever noticed that when you try to explain a story to someone, about a little situation that you have going on, it just doesn't consist of one problem, but many that make one gigantic problem? It always seems to feel like everywhere you turn a wall is caving in  barricading you deeper and deeper, trapping you with nowhere to escape. Yeah sure life throws you a few good days here and there, making you feel just a little bit confident that things are alright, and then all of the sudden blind-sides you and knocks you back to reality. And in those moments when your at your wits end and you're hanging on by a thread, you get the most strength. You use whatever bit of energy you have left and exert it into an extreme burst of rage. Finally you feel the need to take what's your, robbing from the rich to give to the poor. Life may be not all its cracked up to be, but in some strange way that just seems to be the thing we all need to stay in check with ourselves and snap back to reality. Now today I'm not asking for easy, I'm just demanding possible. So life I look you in the eye, take a shot of whiskey, and challenge you to a duel with one of the most stubborn people you have ever messed with. Come on I dare you.

Salt Water

There always seems to be a certain way for people to deal with their problems. I know that I have my own regimen for the hardships that life throws my way. When I'm frustrated with what the world has thrown at me I tend to run or induce myself in some other sort of strenuous exercise that let's off the steam that has built up inside. Then there is the dreaded way of dealing with my emotions and that is crying. I do not enjoy the act of crying but I know that in some way it can just make things better. I push myself each and everyday and I know how hard I am on myself. I let pain and misery well up inside until the pot boils over and the tea kettle explodes. So finally as I let down and allow the tears to overflow, things just seem to lessen. But the most important way that I deal with things is the ocean. There is just nothing like it in the whole world. I feel as if I come to a place where I'm as close to God as I can get. It is where my soul feels most at peace. The sea allows the storm to take full wrath on my body and then all at once take it away as if nothing ever happened. Island and coastal life are what feels to be the only way of life, my way of life. It will forever be the only place where I feel the mostly settled and completely alive.

I See You Everywhere

You're here. You're still here. I see your smile and I can hear your laugh. As I walk the desolate beach, just as the sun gives light to the sand, your foot prints begin to appear. The sight of you walking the waters edge, looking for a perfect shell to bestow upon me, is etched into this beach. The pride, that washed your face when you made your first salt water catch, still resignates with the suns rays. The moment you finally caught the perfect swell still captures the tides. The island breeze mimics your warm touch as it wisps the hair from my face. I stay here just to be with you in spirit. I see you along the sidewalks and among the tourists in the shops. I know you do not reside with me on earth any longer, but I can still feel you here. I can still feel your skin pressed against mine as the storm raged on and on. I can see your breath in the morning air just as clear as the day we woke in the sand. I feel your eyes on me and as I turn your smile begins to disappear with the trade winds. Some nights I feel your body next to mine and I wake in the morning with the imprint of you next to me. I tried to go back to the place we called home and yet I couldn't help but want to be back here. When I was at the home we established I never seen even a trace of you. I always knew you wanted me to live the life I have always wanted. You always wanted me to become coastal. Now since you have brought me here I see you everywhere.

Sunrise to Sunset

My favorite part about the coast is the unending life it brings. The sun beams in light to awake some of the island goers and to warm the rest. But it doesn't just stop there, it brings vibrancy to the sandy towns and beaches to attract the tourists from all around. With each beam of light it seems as if the day could go on forever, as if new life is given to the coast with every shimmer. And as it slowly begins to descend it brings with it a whole new sense of life. The hustle and bustle begins to slow, while laid back appreciation of the scenery begins to sink in. Even the ocean brought creatures begin to follow with suit. The warm colors on the horizon bring a new ambiance that soothes the ocean and welcomes the effervescent fireflies. As the sun slowly slips into the salty waters, life on the coast doesnt stop there, it carries on. The dread headed locals emerge from their slumber, to take on the vivacious night. Even the inexperienced tourists fight fatigue to enjoy the island's night life. From sunrise to sunset, the coast's life is never-ending and always alive.

Ignored Dreams

We hear everyday that we should live our lives to the fullest. We should do this, take risks, never look back, and have no regrets. These little pieces of advice smack us in the face from every direction. Yet even with all the propaganda we still decide, as a majority, to ignore these life hints. But why? Why can't we just go by what our aspirations and dreams whisper in our ears? This is something that I've even asked myself. I want to be that person that has the life they have always dreamed about. I want the life story that will inspire others and give people the little encouragement they need to dive off the deep end. I want to look at my career knowing that this is exactly what I should be doing. I want to look at my future children and know that I have laid a solid foundation for them to dream big. inspiration is around every corner, trying to coax us into believing in ourselves and taking that leap of faith. Now I am a new year older and a new year inspired to be all that I can be. With the good Lord by my side nothing can stop me, not even myself.

What I See

I see the locals casting, dropping the same line they have for the past thirty years. I see a young kid trying to make his way in this sandy town. I see a sunset that would make God himself take a moment to stare. I see the time slowly fade and the temperature drop with it. I see inspiration and oppurtunity around every corner. I see beauty that comes from the natural foliage and landscapes. I see a place where only certain people can feel the same as I do. I see love blossom with every romantic scene. I see tourists find the new life they have always dreamed of. I see the battered and broken become whole once again. I see the light breeze tickle the ends of the palm trees, making them sway rythmically. I see the beach side beacons beckoning lost ships into the sanctity of the shores. I see the wildlife come alive both in the light and the dark. I see boats from all shapes and sizes. I see where I am supposed to be. I see myself in this rock. I see that I am a part of it, as it is of me. I see around every corner, a reason as to why I shall forever reside here. I see where I belong. I see where my soul feels most at peace.

The Only Way of Life

There is a place that God himself created for the laid back and the worn down. Whether it is along the coasts, on the islands, or even in the secluded lagoons, there is a place where only a special type of person can enjoy life to its fullest potentials. These places carry with it a little magic that gives its permanent and temporary inhabitants a sense of fulfillment with the world. Most people can never experience the wonders that this lifestyle carries with it, and to those I raise my glass in hopes that one day, while in the clouds, they'll be able to experience these wonders they missed while on Earth. A perfect explanation to this lifestyle cannot be relayed by message, only experienced, making these places so much more exhilarating and organic. Whenever I'm asked as to why I obsess over something such as a salty body of water and I can only describe it with a smile; it's my way of life the only way of life.

Ocean Persepctive

MlPeople from all walks of life come to me. Some run, some stumble, and some blissfully stroll the edge of me. I can tell you which ones are meant to be here, which ones have never left here, and which ones have never even wanted to come here. Everyday I create a scene, in the eyes of God, that would leave a pessimist feeling warm inside and lead an atheist to redemption. I offer an oasis to some and an anchor to others, both literal and figurative. I've realized over my lifespan that for some I offer more than just a place to surf or swim, but a place to heal. I offer a place to find yourself again and I let you find new life though God. Not one person views myself the same as another. I find that I can describe that aspect inspiring and yet troubling all in the same breath. No matter what I am to some I am different to others. I scare some, encourage some, stifle some, and uplift some. I never do the same thing for one person as I do for another, and I'm content with that. I appreciate the career God has laid out for me and I never want to be anything more than who I am, the Ocean.

Battered and Broken

Wondering if she would even recognize the person that would stare back at her along the waves edge, she up and ran to see for herself. Burying the person she once was, was an easy task, at first. She let herself become what society made her to be. She smiled less, ate less, and even slept less all to become the best that she could be. She hid her simplistic ways to accomplish a fast paced, cut-throat lifestyle, that she thought she had wanted. Now, cruising down the desolate interstate, she shook her head at her shallow choices in life. As she made it to where the ocean met the land, she cracked a crooked smile at the way the sand pushed out from the sides of her pasty feet. When she reached the waters edge, she became hesitant toh look at her reflection. When the seal on her eyes finally cracked, she saw a woman of small yet strong stature, staring back at her. This young woman she saw before her resembled someone who had been chewed up and spat out by life's cruel antics. She could see a woman of whole proportion and yet she felt as if only half of herself were truly there. Anger and disappointment caused a single tear to we'll up and spill of the ri, of her eye. As she wiped the salty tear away, the  she vowed she would become the person she was meant to be in this world, without the influence of anyone or anything.

My Home

I'll never know what it is about this place. This is the only place I feel alive, the only place I feel at home. The place that I feel closest to God. This is a beautiful place that can enrage you with all of its fury and then quickly encase you in its beauty. Most people won't understand my desire to be here, where the ocean meets the shore, I honestly don't understand myself. The only thing I know is when I'm not here, every fiber of my being wants to be here. And when I am here I'm dreading not being here. This is the place where the storm in my soul is calmed and the hurricane that reeks havoc on my life is thrown to the wind. I have given myself to the ocean, and it in return has given life a whole new meaning.

Running with the Sun

Her bronzed toes dug deeper and deeper into the white sand. She exhaled stress, highlighted with worry, into the salty air. The breeze carried her trials and tribulations and threw them to the sky. She reminisced on this past year, making her thankful for the person she left behind in her hometown. She came to the islands to find the person she had lost along the grueling adventure through college. Highschool was a rushed, worried time that pushed her to be the best that society wanted to make her. When she graduated high school hopes of becoming a doctor were held dear to her heart. Then the real problem came, college. She spent hours, days, weeks, and years trying to become all that she could be in the medical field. She worried so much about who she was going to become, that she forgot who she really was. She forgot the simple fact of taking time for herself, she forgot about enjoying the simple things in life. She pushed herself to a new breaking point each and everyday to get MD after her name. Most people would call it dedication, she now called it insanity. Living a fast paced, pushed to your limit, go until you break lifestyle was something she lied herself into enjoying, but deep down a piece of her broke. Now she lays in the sunlight, letting it warm her skin, trying to pick up the pieces she chiseled away and put herself back to someone she would finally recognize in the mirror. The sun had began to rise high in the blue sky, causing hues of crimsons, peaches, and magentas to swirl together with the clouds. She turned her head from side to side only to see the island come to life with each ray of sun. In that moment she knew she has made the right decision to up and run with the sun.