Ocean Void

It blindsided her. Like she was t-boned in a hidden intersection on a foggy night. She was young at the time and never knew she even had it. A word she had heard many times before and never thought much of it. Something many people described as empty. The weird thing was she didn't know she had it until something she never had before, came into her life. For the first time ever she could say how she had a void in her life. She learned the true meaning of this word when she went on a family vacation to the sandy beaches of outer banks north carolina. She never knew the exhilarated relaxation the ocean had to offer. Being next to the salty water brought a whole new way of life she had quickly fell in love with. Most people are sad when they leave a vacation spot, but they quickly recover when they make it back home. She, on the other hand, was heart-broken. Not only was she heart-broken, she also left a peice of herself there on the ocean-kissed shore. Now seven years later she is able to make it back to where she will always call home. Hopefully one day she'll never have to feel the that painful void in her life ever again.

Run.

Young and vibrant she was married to the man she has loved for the past seven years. Happiness and simplicity has always been the highlight of their relationship. friendship and enjoying everything about one another made up the foundation of the high school sweetheart's union. A brief three years later, grief had stricken them.

He a, meticulous crane operator, was unfortunately caught in the wrong point in time. Building, what only could have been described as a skyscraper, an unfortunate flaw in the blueprints caused the frame to crumble under itself and crash down atop of the crane cab of which he operated. Sirens screamed and wailed trying to reach his side. Things blurred in and out for him. One moment he was in the arms of a man that wore the emergency emblem on his chest, then he had an air mask wrapped around the front of his face. Then the sight of his beautiful worried wife flashed in front of his eyes.

The call had her up and out the door in a matter of seconds. Every sense had seemed to be hightened on the drive to the hospital. Shocked, she was numb with fear. Time had seemed to drag and traffic had seemed to become nothing but a flash. She burst through the doors of the hospital, sprinting past every nurse that tried to stand in her way. The hallway seemed to close in on her as she raced her way to the end where he was being held. She made her way to the door and then to his bedside, in what felt to her like a lifetime. The heart monitor beeped irradically while nurses tried to stabilize his rising blood pressure. She was pushed out the door by a nurse, only seeing a glimpse of her husband on the way out.

Sitting in the vacant waiting room, she blankly stared at the floor. People visiting loved ones strolled by laughing and going on about their lives, not noticing her fear-stricken demeanor. A nurse came to her side and explained what was going on. She couldn't seem to focus on the words spewing from the hefty woman's mouth, but she heard what she had feared most. he was not going to make it much longer. She didn't listen any longer and ran as fast as she could to his side.

His eyes fluttered as she spoke to him, her voice shaky, yet soft. She wanted to say so much but yet nothing could come out. She slowly reached to his hand and miraculously he met her halfway. Her eyes met his and he spoke in a very hoarse manner.

" Hi there cutie," he cracked a small smile, "I need to tell you something and I need you to listen."

She nodded with tears in her eyes.

He squeezed her hand, "you and I both know that I'm not going to last much longer," he coughed, "I love you and I want you to go on with your life," he continued, " I want you to go to where ever you feel most at peace, and I know that is the ocean."

She nodded, holding his hand tighter.

"When the service is done and over I want you to run, don't let anything here get in your way just run," he didn't let her cut in, "I know you have always wanted to be there and you put off that dream for me because you knew this area was great for my line of work," he coughed again, harder this time, "you're the greatest woman I have ever known and I want you to make someone else as happy as you have made me, but most importantly I want you to live your dreams."

She nodded with tears flowing softly down her flushed face. He held his arms out and motioned her in. She brought herself gently into the hospital bed with him. Perfectly curled around him, she softly sobbed. With what little strength he had left, he stroked her long hair and repeatedly kissed the top of her head. They laid there for five minutes lost in their own world. They soaked up every last second they had together, hoping that time would stand still.

"I want you to remember what I said," he choked out, " I love you with all my heart and I always will, forever and always."

She sat up and looked at him, "I love you too."

He crooked his finger at her and she came closer to him. He brought his hand to her chin, making her lock eyes with him.

"Remember, run," he kissed her one last passionate time.

She opened her eyes to see him peacefully laying back on the pillow. Then the noise of the dreaded flat line began to ring in her ears. Her eyes scattered looking for any sign of life left in him, but there was nothing. She slowly came close to him and ran her fingers along his face. She softly brought her lips to his forhead and tightly shut his eyes, squeezing out one last tear.

One week later he was laid to rest. She couldn't help but hear his last word replay over and over in her mind. He was right, she did put off her dream of living by the ocean. She always settled for a vacation or two a year, but in a way it still wasn't enough.

She went home to a near empty house and slept on the floor next to her boxed up belongings. She was set out to move tomorrow, the day after burying her husband. determination on keeping the promise she made to her husband, kept her on top of this busy week. She not only planned the memorial service, she also sold her home, bought another, and found a new job within her career field.

She woke the next morning with the sun streaming through the bare windows.  She made one last walk around the empty home, seeing all of the memories of her and her husband almost flash before her eyes. She slowly shut the front door trying to take in every last moment. The door finally latched and just like that, a chapter of her life ended and a new one began.

She made it to the coast in record time. The salt air wisped through her hair and the sun kissed her skin. After settling in she made her way down to the beach, which she now called her backyard. She walked the waters edge letting the waves touch her skin. Her heart felt somewhat at peace and she knew he looked down at her and smiled at the way she glowed. She sat in the sand with her knees to her chest and her crossed arms resting on top. She gazed out at the horizon and smiled at the memory of her husband and at the new life that has unfolded before her.

Grandpa Told Me So

"Life was made for you to live,"

In your prime, nobody knew what to expect from you. You did things at the drop of a hat to create a memory or start a new tradition. No one ever knew what was going to come out of your mouth. You had a vocabulary all of your own, that we all still use today. The lives that you have touched go past the roots of our blood to a point we would never be able to reach. You raised a hellacious bunch of God-fearing free spirits that will never miss out on a chance to enjoy life. You may have had more children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren than anyone would ever ask for, but you always seemed to make everyone of us feel special and gave us a memory that we could call our own. The adventures you created were and are something we will all pass on to our children to keep your spirit alive. You were one of those people that God put on this earth to create a life lesson in every aspect with any person that came into your path.  You are gone now, but I see you everywhere and in everything. I hope I can set the same example  for my children and grandchildren as you have for our family. You knew the perfect balance of working and living life, something that people take a whole lifetime to achieve. Not one person will forget you and your mannerisms. Even though we share grief in your loss, we share smiles and laughter when we think of your memory. We love and miss you with all our hearts. Thanks for everything Gramps, I can't wait to see you again.

Roots and Wings

Growing up I have watched my mother always put herself on the back burner. She is a woman of pure talent. Someone that God created to show what a natural someone could be. Even with her God-given talents she decided to choose the way of life that most benefitted her family. This put her dreams and aspirations on hold in order to fulfill the dreams of her children. With her dreams it gave me the roots I needed to build a strong foundation to become all that I could be. The hope and faith she instills in me gives me the wings I need to make my dreams take flight. You always hear up-and-coming celebrities deceivingly send praise to their mother and God for their rise to success, but thanks to my mom I will honestly be able to send my praises to her and God without crossing my fingers behind my back. I will never be able to express my appreciation towards the ground work my mother has laid out for me. With my anticipated success I hope I will be able to give her everything she wants and deserves. Not many people can put themselves aside for someone else, but I'm proud to call one of the few that can my mother.

Storm

Just like the ocean, she waited until the right time to break down and unleash the storm within. She tried her hardest to time her emotional cleansing with the occasional coastal storm the ocean would let free. As the dark and calm began to set in the overcast, she could feel the hurricane in her soul begin to spin. Wind howls at the anticipation and the rain falls to the earth slow at first, then gaining speed and force. With each strike of lightening her heart pulsates harder and harder. The thunder courses through her body, making everything she has bottled up, break and burst through the barricade she has built. The storm has now reached full rage both inside and out. Tears spill over the rims of her reddened eyelids as the rain batters the window panes. She let the noise of the storm encase her as she stepped out the door into the battlefield. The ocean is roaring while she sprints the to waters edge. On the crest of the dune she gazes into the heart of the havoc seeing rage in all of its glory. Just as soon as the storm had come it quickly had stopped. It let whatever else it had left fall in small drops kissing her skin as she made her way to the sand. Her tears began to stop as the rain let up. With the storm, it brought a whole new world. Letting herself break down and become new again mimicked the effects the storm had on the coast. She never let herself fall to the trials and tribulations that were thrown at her, but when she finally did, she experienced it in the most tantalizing way possible, creating a better impact. She smiled as a beautiful array of colors, composed as a rainbow, stretched itself across the blue sky.

Beach moments

The fire crackled and sparked rising toward the iridescent moon. The continous laughing and jokes, caused her sides to ache with joy. Serendipity brought these old friends together while rum and ice cold beer kept them company for most of the evening and into the night. Waves crashed along the shore adding a rythmic melody to the music streaming from the well used radio. All blissfully reveled in the moments they were creating with one another. She sat back looking around at the circle, letting a smile crack across her face at the sight of the old friendships rekindling. Their busy lives left no room for the company of their childhood friends. Tonight the salt in the air seemed to wrap around them, bringing them back to a state of young simplicity. every face was lit up by the crimson flames of the roaring fire making every smile appear bigger. She would never forget the moments she shared with great friends.

coastal daydream

Rain slinked down the pane of glass, memorizing her attention. lost in the tantalizing drops, she dreamed of what life along the Atlantic Coast would be like some far off day. With her eyes shut she reveled in the sunlight as her hair was thrown every which way from the salty air. Waves caused the hair on her bronzed arms to stand erect with the rhythmic melody they had created. A sense of content washed over her, brining to her attention that she was finally where her soul could call home. A place that made the storm inside finally calm, bringing tranquility with it. gazing she could see the lighthouse beckon to the boats off the shore, calling them home, just as it did for her. in her beautiful daydream she had finally made it to somewhere in the sun. Her eyes cracked open only to find the rain still falling. A smile broke on her face as a a result from knowing at heart she would eventually come to the place of peace, to forever reside in her salty daydream.